I was asked that question by someone after church tonight. He said, "Where is the rest of you?"
I haven't been around here, posting as much as I would like to. Part of the problem is that I just plain don't know what to write about. Writer's block? No, quite the opposite. I've got about 5 or 6 different ideas and thoughts for posts floating around in my head. Several of them could even be combined into one or two posts, because they're on similar topics. But I'm not sure. So I've just got these kind-of mixed up ideas to sort through and try to organize into something that makes sense before I can write. I made a little bit of an effort last week; I sat down Tuesday night and pounded one of them out; I finished it and published it when I got up Wednesday morning; only to go to church Wednesday night and be reminded in class of yet another post that I had intended to write months ago and never got to it. So now I'm back at square one.
So there's that. Besides that confusion, there's also the realization that I'm just tired. This week has been especially draining. Even the weekend was draining. Friday night I went to hang out w/a friend that I only get to see about twice a year. I got up really early Saturday morning and went down to Arkadelphia for Henderson's homecoming game. It was a good game; I enjoyed it w/my friend Leigha, whom I went to church with all through college. She's truly one of my favorite sisters in the Lord and closest friends in this world. Oh yeah, and we won! We beat those Harding Church of Christ folks 22-19! Better than the game, though, was getting to see David Rollins, the former director of bands, back to visit on Homecoming. The circumstances surrounding "Daddy" Rollins' departure from HSU made for a bittersweet homecoming. But he was there, nonetheless. And that was amazing; I love that man.
After the game I caught up w/some other band alums, and we went to eat dinner at the Olive Garden in Hot Springs. We were there till after 11:00, just visiting, laughing, and telling old stories. So I was out late, got in bed last night (or should I say 'this morning'?) at about 1:00.
This afternoon has been busy as well; I've been incredibly productive. I cleaned my kitchen. I cleaned my living room. I took the trash out. I washed laundry. I put away laundry (that's a big one...I don't often get to the 'putting away' of the clean laundry!) I even went to Walmart (I hate goin to Walmart!) But I didn't get everything done. That's okay though; even the Lord didn't do it all in one day. So I still need to clean my bathroom and balance my checkbook so I can pay bills. (As you can see, I save the best stuff for last!) Then i took a nap. I think that was my biggest mistake, because I am not a nap-taker. But I was just so tired...so I slept from 3:15 till about 5:00, only to feel worse when I woke up than I did before. So I was exhausted in church this evening.
And I realize that I still am. I'm about to start a brand new week at work without really having had my ever-so-necessary day of rest, and I still feel drained; empty, if you will. On Friday, David U posted on his page a part of a verse from I Peter about being "redeemed from the empty way of life." That verse spoke to me, especially as I recalled it this evening. So I looked for it and found some more encouraging words. Read with me from I Pet. 2:13-25:
"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.'
Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through Him you believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and glorified Him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For, 'All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.'"
So where is the rest of me? The rest of me is gone right now...just physically and emotionally drained. But praise God that as I prepare to go out into the world, I can be renewed by Him, through my faith in Christ, as He fills me up with the imperishable--with His word; rather than being filled by the perishable things of this world that I tend to worry too much about.
What about you? Where is the rest of you?